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PM / Management Humor & Reality: 3 Management Lessons

August 30, 2006 from Raven's Brain: Project Management Humor

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You might have seen this before, I know I had, but after a few more years of management under my belt I found the lessons even more amusing. I do not know who the original author of the lessons/course is, but I found the 3 Minute Management Course (rated M for mature) posted by A.J here: http://valuemanagementpartners.com/archives/000457.html. If you happen to know the origin of these three lessons I'd be happy to give proper credit. Now, on to your course:

3 Minute Management Course (rated M for mature)
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson #1
- To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
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Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson #2
- Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
_____________________________________

Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson #3
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your three-minute management course!

Now, I'm not personally recommending that anyone go out and eat dung for a boost up the corporate ladder. I am recommending that you remember the management lessons because even though they are humorous, they also ring quite true.. Well, except for #3-(3) - keeping your mouth shut when drowning in doodoo - it's probably better to reach out for help than sit quietly and drown everyone around you, but that wouldn't make the lesson nearly as funny, eh? Hope you at least got a chuckle - Enjoy!

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